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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Friend... Freak... Forever


Here we are boys and girls painting these fairy tales that you will run after for the rest of your lives… Wait let me start all over again, here we are little girls painting, these fairy tales that you will run towards for the rest of your lives… It goes kind of like this… ( clears throat.) Once upon a time there was a handsome, rich young prince that was looking for special princess. One day he seen the princess and was madly in love with her and they lived happily ever after. The little girls sit there seeing themselves go through this and the little boys are in the back of the classroom competing who can eat the most boogers without getting caught or sick! When the reality is we fall in three categories at the end of the day. Friend. Freak or Forever.

What does a friend look like? I really wish I knew, most of the men in my life that I call friend have at some point in time been more. It makes since though two attractive people that don’t have any real reason to hide flaws, because of the lack of expectations. Brown Sugar moments tend to follow me no matter where I go. However I do, have a few friends that are just friends and I cherish them. I talk to them and listen to them. I invest myself in our friendships. I know, and understand that being friends is the first step to any form of bliss. At the end of the day if it doesn’t work out, your friendship has no choice but to eventually resurface.
FREAK… I was told from a Pastor when I was very young that a man will make you his friend, freak or his forever. Now, that I am a little bit older the thing checks out. Men have boxes in their mind and they know where to place you. But here’s the thing so do women. Well at least I know I do, and the core set of chicks I role with. We know who’s who. We know when so and so text us… at 12:30 or later he’s not really trying to chill. He’s placing his order for his freak. We know that when so and so see’s us in the bar and wants to see “ what you getting into.” It’s all about FREAK investigation. I am sure most women are hip to these little things, but what saddens me is when women think that these types of encounters will lead them to some type of permanent position. Think about it… these men are looking for a FREAK nothing more nothing less. If that’s going to be your adventure for the night or that season. So be it, but know what it is and leave it at that. However, there is another kind of FREAK that I do feel does make it to that FOREVER bench mark… the FREAK that knows when to play and when to fold.

FOREVER, does not necessarily mean marriage anymore for everyone. I know women that actually are dreading the thought of getting married and are playing with the little boys I mentioned eating boogers and that’s fine. So I think forever now is stability, titles, commitment, loyalty, and laughs. I have recently realized there are a million things women are told to we have to want… like, someone that can support you, someone that looks like this, someone who has no children, someone who goes to church, someone who makes you laugh, someone who has great social skills, someone who is romantic… blah blah blah blah. The list goes on, but I am starting to question if these so called standards are the equivalent to men who want the ultimate physically flawless woman that’s as sweet as their mothers. I’m not saying… that we shouldn’t want specific things because we should and we should most certainly have standards. Just go after what you really want. I really want to laugh through out my life, and I need someone that gets my jokes and I understand theirs. I need someone that loves, God in a fashion that people of all walks of life feel they can be themselves and not be preached at. I need someone that is open to living, and knows how to chase after dreams and get them. I need my FOREVER to be my FRIEND who can FREAK me… What does your FRIEND.FREAK&FOREVER look like?

Saturday, January 29, 2011

My Days Are Numbered

The question I hear at least... ( thinking) every other day... yes every other day... What's next? Or Hows life after college... and the answer is something very generic and forced like: Good, you know just saving up to make this move in the fall.

The reality is, I can't save up at a job where I barley make enough to support myself. In addition to its hard to find further employment anywhere in the State of Michigan. Because with a four degree, you start to hear the good old: " Your over qualified." But clearly,I'm not over anything, if I'm sitting here in your establishment trying to make this dollar man. BUT. Yes, there is a but... I am still looking to move in the Fall of 2011. I did not renew my lease, and I have no plans on moving back home. Not knocking those that do, because we all have to take the chances, and make the choices that will make our world go round. Moving back home will make my world go BOOOOM

Here are some of the things I am looking at though: Of course because I am an actress, NEW YORK is like #1 on my list... I have some friends and former colleagues really making it happen out there. All from what my facebook tells me , are taking the paths in which they feel is best. I feel though, if i move out there... I need to have some sort of game plan...Right? What I don't know? I'm going to try and go to places and perform all my talents as much as possible. Auditions, open mics, schools, whatever it takes! In addition to possibly doing the grad school thing and working with youth. That would be an ideal life for me living somewhere in Brooklyn or Harlem...

Chicago, is another option... the directing field that way is BOOMING. I want to learn more and I want to do more with stage and film to be honest.

St. Louis: They have the Black Rep. I had a buddy go and do some work with them,and it seemed to really direct hims with his artistry.

Philly: My friends are going that way. Its East, and its a move I'm wiling to make to just get out of here, and fly. It's very much so time to get out of the nest of Michigan.

I am very open!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To places where I can do art, and work with youth. If you know of any programs please tell me... Thank You.